


if you like the feeling of the hard rain falling (i can give you an ocean)

by possibilist



Series: hard rain [1]
Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F, also i would NEVER KILL ANY OF THEM, its all ok, ok theres like i guess violence in this but none of it is graphic so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilist/pseuds/possibilist
Summary: tumblr prompt was a fic where one of them takes care of the other when they're hurt so this is that. this is the first part (sutton's pov):'‘a bomb went off at prince st,' jane says.you’ve gotten off the RW at that station more times than you can count; it’s two blocks away from kat’s apartment in soho, and you think of the kitchen chairs you helped carry those two blocks during a heatwave in summer because kat found them on the sidewalk in the village; you think of movie nights in the dead of winter and clinging to jane so you wouldn’t fall in the fresh snow, laughing and warm and a little drunk. you’d walked with kat and adena last night, because you and jane had dinner with them—you feel like you’re bleeding or something, all of a sudden, because your hands are numb and cold.'





	if you like the feeling of the hard rain falling (i can give you an ocean)

**Author's Note:**

> this is 100% the same fic thats on tumblr but ppl asked for it on here so here ya go if u have not read it on tumblr here u go
> 
> also to reiterate: i would Never kill kat jfc

you’re not worried when kat is late because she’s usually late and recently she’s been  _really_  late, so you don’t think anything of it. oliver has a million dresses for you to steam and then a million and one looks for you to put together for a fitting that was crammed in later today between a pitch meeting and an appointment you have at miu miu, so you’re busy as fuck and you want to talk to your friend but truly you do not really have ten minutes to be jealous of a play by play of her five orgasms before 9 am.

but then jane is calling you and you answer hurriedly, distractedly, until jane sounds a little frantic: ‘is kat at work?’

you look out to her desk; empty. ‘no? i don’t think so.’

jane lets out a shaky breath. 

you hang up the steamer. ‘what’s going on?’

‘have you read the news lately?’

‘i’m steaming like a thousand dresses,’ you say, slightly annoyed but it’s because jane sounds like she’s about to cry and you can feel your heart pounding. ‘sorry,’ you apologize softly. ‘no, i haven’t.’

‘a bomb went off at prince st, white nationalists, they think.’

you’ve gotten off the RW at that station more times than you can count; it’s two blocks away from kat’s apartment in soho, and you think of the kitchen chairs you helped carry those two blocks during a heatwave in summer because kat found them on the sidewalk in the village; you think of movie nights in the dead of winter and clinging to jane so you wouldn’t fall in the fresh snow, laughing and warm and a little drunk. you’d walked with kat and adena last night, because you and jane had dinner with them—you feel like you’re bleeding or something, all of a sudden, because your hands are numb and cold.

‘she hasn’t answered her phone,’ jane continues. ‘i’ve called, like, eighteen times.’

you go to oliver’s computer—you’re not really supposed to use it but his password is nACHO#1 and your eyes are filling with tears so you truly don’t care. ‘maybe she’s just stuck at a different station, or in the tunnel on a different train.’

it’s weak and you don’t even really believe yourself, but jane seems to appreciate the gesture. ‘yeah,’ she says. ‘probably.’

‘have you called adena?’ you ask, even as images of smoke pouring up the entrance on broadway fills the computer screen. 

‘yeah,’ jane says. ‘she was walking to a gallery in chelsea so she’s safe.’

‘okay,’ you say, because adena isn’t your best friend but you know that kat is really in love with her and you need them both to be fine. ‘she can come here, if she wants.’

‘i already told her that,’ jane says, but it’s fond and gentle and you smile, watery and small.

‘thanks, tiny jane.’

‘i love you,’ she says.

‘i love you too,’ you tell her, quiet. ‘everything’s gonna be okay.’

‘okay,’ she says. ‘bye, sutton.’

‘bye.’ you take a deep breath and lean your head back, because your mascara is from the new fenty line and it looks so good and when kat comes into work this morning—she will, she’s just late—you know she’ll notice, smiling her grand smile and making you laugh.

oliver walks in, takes a look at the steamer. ‘red,’ he says, arching a brow before he realizes you’re about to cry.

‘kat,’ you say, and your throat closes up because everything feels  _wrong_. you have to try again: ‘kat lives in soho,’ you start, even though that doesn’t really explain anything. ‘she’s late and she hasn’t answered her phone.’

‘prince street,’ he says, knowingly, and it’s as gentle as you’ve literally ever heard him. he has a soft spot for kat, you know, respects her fully—you’ve overheard them talking about their roles as black, queer department heads and then kat belting out a few bars of no scrubs to make him laugh. ‘i can steam these,’ he offers, and you try to shake your head. ‘take a moment, sutton,’ he tells you, firm. 

you nod, even though you don’t want to, and mumble a thanks before you walk out of his office trying to wipe your eyes. you don’t have a desk anymore and everything is too open so you go to the fashion closet, but that seems wrong because that’s where kat is supposed to be with you, talking about sex or inclusive feminism or her cousin’s bougie wedding in hilton head this coming june.

it’s too empty so you’re walking out, and then your phone rings again. it’s kat’s mom, your caller ID tells you, which means that something is wrong, because you literally only have her number because you’d gotten drunk before you’d wanted to go out to the beach at their hamptons house two summers ago and she had given it to you because kat lost her phone earlier in the day.

you answer and you already know it’s bad because you can tell susan has been crying from the roughness of her voice and she tells you that kat is being taken to new york presbyterian-weill cornell and they don’t know much more, only that there were fatalities but she’s alive.

you feel dazed because nothing bad happens to kat; for as long as you’ve known her she walks through the world with the most confidence you’ve ever known, and she loves so big and full and she can make you laugh always; she’d just gotten to fall in love.

you walk to oliver’s office because somehow you remember you can’t just  _leave_. 

‘kat’s being taken to the hospital,’ you say, and he puts down the steamer and nods.

‘when you see her tell her that she really fucked up my schedule today by taking you away.’

it makes you laugh despite yourself and you nod. he squeezes your shoulder and you grab your purse and your bag and jane hasn’t called yet so you figure she’s on the phone with susan or marcus too.

you walk by jacqueline’s office on the way out and she sees your face and waves you in. 

‘kat?’ she asks. jacqueline has never, ever sounded scared before but she does now.

‘her mom just called me. i have to go to the hospital.’ it’s all you can say to really explain and jacqueline seems to understand, nods.

‘take all the time you need.’

‘thanks,’ you mumble, walk to the lobby. you’re breathing a little easier because your job is fine, and it’s a shitty thought but kat’s going to be fine and she’d be pissed at you if you fucked up your job for her. she’ll probably roll her eyes at the hospital, only have a few scrapes, tell you to get back to work.

you’re rounding the corner in the lobby when you spot a pretty hijab and you hurry toward adena, who turns to you with tears in her eyes. 

‘she’s alive,’ you say, pull her into a hug without a second thought, and she nods against your shoulder. ‘i’m going to the hospital, come on.’

//

the emergency room waiting room is full of a lot of frantic people but you find jane, who has found kat’s parents. jane holds your hand tight after susan and marcus give you hugs and you hear susan apologize to adena because she wanted to call but didn’t have her number. adena is stoic and calm and gracious but you see her hands trembling and when she sits down on your other side you hold one of hers too.

apparently marcus has a good friend who is an emergency room psychiatrist here and so you get news far before many of the other families: kat is in surgery because she’d had internal bleeding in her abdomen and a badly fractured femur; she wasn’t conscious when they brought her in but her pupils were reactive and her head CT showed a very minor brain bleed that they’re keeping an eye on but hopefully letting resolve on its own. 

you have literally watched fourteen seasons of grey’s anatomy, the last four every thursday night with kat and jane, so you think you accurately know what all of this means: that kat is alive and will probably stay that way, because this is the best hospital in the city and one of the best in the world—but she’s hurt and you’re still so scared. jane scrolls through the news stories about the explosion: fourteen dead, over thirty injured; the two responsible were apprehended, two men in their twenties, swastikas on the sleeves of their jackets.

you’re furious, too, and adena’s jaw clenches when she looks at jane’s phone, and you watch marcus pace out of the surgical waiting room, where you’d move. susan sends you all a sympathetic look and then follows him, and you see him put his hands against the wall and take a deep breath while she says something very quietly. it’s all so heavy and jane leans into your side and you wish, oddly, that kat was here, because if it was anyone else—literally anyone, you’re pretty sure—she’d be able to comfort you all.

you send alex a text updating him, and then oliver, but then you put your phone away. the most important people in your life are here right now: jane is pressed into your side and kat is somewhere beyond the two double doors a few feet away from the waiting room.

it’s hours and adena’s hands don’t stop shaking. you eventually get up to stretch your legs and get everyone coffee and when you come back, there’s a doctor in the room and you take a moment to watch marcus’ shoulders slump in relief and jane squeeze adena’s hand with the smallest smile before you take what feels like the first real breath all day.

//

kat doesn’t wake up that day.

susan and marcus see her first because she’s in the ICU, and then you and jane and adena get to go in. there are lots of wires and beeping monitors and a breathing tube in her mouth and a big cast on her leg, propped up on a pillow. there are bruises and cuts everywhere and you know swathes of bandages across her stomach and a minor burn on the top of her left arm and jane  _hates_  hospitals but she sits down first and takes kat’s hand. you sit down too and tangle your hand in both of theirs and adena hangs back. you think maybe it’s because she feels like she doesn’t really belong but you and jane leave after five minutes because you’re theoretically supposed to. but then adena sits down and runs a hand very, very gently along kat’s arm, cups her cheek, whispers something and then kisses kat’s forehead. it’s intimate and very tender and a different kind of love than you have for your best friend, but just as big, just as grounding and life-changing and special. 

you look away because you’re going to start crying again and you laugh for the first time that day when jane says, ‘that new fenty mascara is, like, miraculous. it hasn’t run at all.’

it shocks a laugh out of you and jane grins and you pull her into your shoulder and just stand like that. 

‘rihanna definitely knows what she’s doing.’

//

susan and marcus send you all home because kat’s not supposed to wake up any time soon, she’s being heavily sedated until at least the next morning, and visiting hours are over. 

adena has been staying with kat and you don’t think she wants to go back to that apartment without her there.

‘you should stay with us tonight,’ you suggest.

‘are you sure?’ 

‘definitely,’ jane says; you hadn’t asked her because you know she was thinking the same thing anyway. ‘dolphinitely,’ she says under her breath.

‘i hate you,’ you say because you’re laughing again and then adena joins in and you feel a little lighter. kat’s alive and she has a lot of people who love her and it’s not okay, anger is eating away at your bones, but kat’s going to get better.

you take a lyft back to williamsburg, get sandwiches from the organic bodega on the corner of your block before you sit down quietly on your couch to eat them. 

‘is it cool if we have some wine?’ jane asks.

‘of course,’ adena says around a bite of food. 

you make a relieved noise and adena smiles at you and you bump her shoulder with a roll of your eyes. 

you turn on reruns of the office—you and jane have watched it entirely maybe six times, but still—and you split a bottle of merlot. it’s late and you turn down the lights and you don’t talk about anything, because you can’t, you don’t have the words.

you all fall asleep on your couch, feet propped on the coffee table, adena between you and jane. you know this night changed something, this has changed everything, and you had liked adena just fine before but now you understand why kat loves her—and just how much she loves kat back.

you wake in the middle of the night with a spasm in your neck and you groan and drag yourself to your bed. jane and adena are still sleep, tangled up a little, and you leave them be.

//

you go back to the hospital in the morning and susan and marcus thank you for the bagels and coffee you bring them. kat looks the same but they tell you her vitals are much better, and you all cram into her room and wait. a few minutes later a doctor comes in and tells you she’s breathing over the ventilator, which is really good, so they take out her breathing tube and start to decrease the sedatives.

in your mind that means she’s going to wake up within the next fifteen minutes, which doesn’t happen, and it’s jane who scoots up to the bed and pulls out her phone.

‘kat, drake’s album came out today, and i know he’s not as pretty as adena,’ she says, and you shoot a wink toward adena, who blushes a little and ducks her head with a laugh, ‘but we all know you have a crush on him and have been waiting for this forever.’

kat, of course, doesn’t respond, but it makes you feel a little better so you scoot closer too and start playing it, talking to kat intermittently about how boring scarlet’s twitter is without her, how oliver and jacqueline asked about her and are probably sending outrageously extravagant bouquets of flowers. you play the new beyonce music video for her, and then all of dirty computer, and adena somehow knows all the words which makes you all laugh. adena has her fingers tangled with kat’s—it was sort of immediately understood and unspoken that she would be the one to hold kat’s hand—and tells you a dumb story about kat eating shit trying to slide around on her socks the other morning, and you all laugh and your heart hurts, your whole body aches, but you play the fucking drake album on repeat and wait for your best friend to wake up. 

//

you’re exhausted, leaning back on the tiny loveseat in the corner of the room with jane, when you hear a little groan and then adena’s quick intake of breath and you shoot up, tug jane with you.

‘ _fuck_ ,’ kat says, groggy and her eyes still struggling to open.

your laugh is teary and adena is crying and susan strokes back kat’s curls and kisses her forehead.

kat looks around, a little unfocused, but she smiles. ‘you guys all didn’t kill each other.’

adena is  _really_  crying, freely, and you look at jane, who meets your gaze knowingly, happily, so relieved.

kat tries to reach up to wipe adena’s cheeks but she groans and puts her hand on her stomach. ‘geez,’ she says. ‘ow.’

still, kat lifts her chin and whines a little and adena rolls her eyes and kisses her quickly. kat pouts at the lack of contact and marcus laughs with his arm around susan, and you give kat a very gentle, tiny high five.

susan and marcus leave to get the doctor and adena is still crying so jane tugs on your elbow. ‘we’re going to get some coffee,’ you say. ‘i love you so much, kat.’

‘we’re so glad you’re okay,’ jane says.

kat smiles and says, ‘thanks,’ and you’re sure she means for that but also because adena is in one of your sweaters and some of jane’s pants and kat is really out of it but you can tell she knows.

//

kat still sleeps most of the day; you go into scarlet to update everyone and both oliver and jacqueline both literally cry in front of you which you wish you were recording on her phone because kat would lose her shit.

when you get there the next morning, she’s sitting up a little in bed, eating the pancakes on the table in front of her with fervor. the lights are low and adena is asleep on the loveseat in the corner, covered with a blanket, so you and jane are quiet when you sit down.

‘hungry?’ jane asks, pushing the table a little closer.

‘feels like i haven’t eaten in two days,’ she says, and you roll your eyes even as you laugh.

‘how are you feeling?’

kat shrugs, then seems to regret it but recovers quickly. ‘really sore. also pissed off that nazis tried to blow me up, glad they only mildly succeeded.’

jane nods, squeezes kat’s hand. ‘agreed.’

‘hey,’ kat says, quieter, and pulls you both closer. you sit on the edge of her bed. ‘thanks for taking care of adena. she said you guys let her stay with you.’

‘kat,’ you say, ‘she loves you, we love you, you love all of us. of course we did.’

kat sniffles and then waves you both off when you look concerned; jane still goes to fluff her pillow and kat presses a messy kiss to her arm.

‘tiny jane,’ she mumbles, and jane laughs and nods. ‘sutton.’

you scoot closer.

‘i’m really in love with her.’

‘we know, babe,’ you say. 

kat nods and starts to finish her pancakes so you and jane are both quiet and eat the bagels you’d brought with you. adena snores, this tiny thing, just once, and kat looks over at her so gently. 

‘she’s beautiful,’ kat says, almost to herself, and she’s starting to droop so you think she probably got another dose of morphine.

‘you’re definitely goals,’ you say, and jane clears the tray from the table by kat’s bed, pushes it aside. 

kat sighs and lays back against her pillows. there’s a scrape underneath her right eye and you’re pretty sure she’d be horrified at the state of her curls right now, but you think she’s pretty fucking beautiful right now.

‘hey,’ she says, sleepy and a little slurred, brow furrowed, but she focuses hard on you and jane. ‘did drake’s album drop or did i dream that?’

jane starts to cry and you’re laughing and kat grins.

‘well i sure am glad i didn’t miss out on that.’

//

she gets to go home the next day, and adena runs to the pharmacy to get kat’s meds. you get her situated in bed and she’s falling asleep already by the time adena gets back.

‘baby,’ she says, and adena smiles gently, goes to kat’s side of the bed. ‘get in.’

adena looks to you and jane and hesitates before jane says, ‘we’ll go get some groceries, give you some time.’

when you get back with four bags full of comfort food, adena’s resting her head on kat’s chest, very gently curled into her, and they’re both breathing deeply, both asleep.

jane puts down the bags and looks at them again and then you. ‘phew,’ she says, and you laugh but definitely feel it too.

‘you’re telling me.’

//

kat comes back to work ten days later, even though jacqueline said she could spend as much time as she needed. but she’d just gotten her stitches out and you’re pretty sure she’d been going stir crazy at home, especially because you know her parents have been coming over every day. her scrapes and bruises have faded; you, jane, and adena have decorated her cast. she moves gingerly on her crutches, though, like she knows just how much energy it takes to get up if she falls.

jacqueline calls her into her office and you know kat has a whole plan on how to continue to boost numbers, which stories had the most traffic in the time she was out, but you watch as jacqueline gives her a hug and then they share a few words and kat nods and wipes under her eyes and jacqueline squeezes her shoulder before kat walks out.

you keep steaming the suits you’re fitting today but oliver winks at your smile.

when lunch rolls around you aren’t surprised to see adena walk to kat’s desk, lean forward and kiss the top of her head. 

adena helps kat up and you watch them walk out.

you get a text a few minutes later from kat:  _if u can get away adena & i are having lunch at margon_

you probably could go but you remember how gently adena had washed kat’s hair for her the other day, listening very carefully to kat’s precise instructions. 

 _my schedule is a bitch today_ , you text back. and kat and adena are adorable and really in love but kat does make a ton of money and you’re starving.  _bring me a cubano tho_

kat sends back seven thumbs up emojis and you roll your eyes but you smile. 

kat does bring you one and also has a very distinct hickey underneath her ear.

‘you can’t even move,’ you tell her, incredulous.

she winks. ‘adena is quite creative.’

‘i hate you,’ you say, and then moan when you take a bite of your sandwich. ‘i do not hate that you brought me this, though.’

‘fair,’ she says, laying back on the floor of the fashion closet.

you’re suddenly about to cry and kat said she doesn’t remember anything but you’re not sure you entirely believe her, but you know she’ll tell you if she needs, when she’s ready.

‘kat?’

‘sutton?’

‘i’m so glad you’re in this closet with me right now.’

‘babe,’ she says, sitting up slowly with a grimace but without any help. ‘i’m  _so_  glad.’

you scoot over to her and kiss her cheek.

‘you do, though, have mustard on your chin,’ she says, and wipes it off while you laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> there are lots more prompt fills @ possibilisttumblr.com & also so many shit posts


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